A SPECIAL DAY

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Our special day in Florida 2016

On a wonderful sunny day, March 10th, 2016, we are here to celebrate a very special occasion, the gathering of a strong family, the “Strong” family.  I know that we don’t all carry that name all of the time, but we all have one thing in common.  We love and support the spouses that were born with it.

Names may change but the love and connections that we have with each other are an enduring thing.  We all can remember our parents with great pride and respect. They were the mainspring of our lives from the time we were born.  No matter what was going on in their lives, we were the focus of their attention, our schools, our church, our friends, all of these were at the forefront of their lives every day, and that never changed no matter how old we got.

As a group our ages span the length of twelve years.  Nevertheless we basically have had the same experiences, seen the same family experiences as children, watched the world as it changed from a world at war in the 1940’s, and evolved into the world we live in today. Our lives have gone in many different directions, we have accomplished many things that we could never have even imagined as children, and now here we are.

We are sitting together, all eight of us, in the sunshine in Florida and that in itself is a wonderful and miraculous thing.  For a few months of each year we live within a few miles of each other, and we can get together to celebrate it.  All families are not so lucky, but we are, and we can appreciate it as we break bread together today.

So I salute you, the “Strong” family.  We have come a long way together. Our individual families will follow us with the knowledge that we love and appreciate them just as our parents did for us.

We are a lucky bunch, the “Strongs”, and we will be looking forward to our gathering next year.

SPEAKING OF CURRENT POLITICS

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Maybe our main problem is that our current candidates are a reflection of what some Americans have become.  As a people we are expecting the candidates to be much more principled in everyday life than we are.  And when they fail as humans do, we see everything in strict “either this or that” instead of realizing that in a democracy we have to learn to compromise. We expect the candidate to be all our way in everything or we denigrate them. It is better to be an independent to my way of thinking, and to pick out the person that fits most closely regardless of party.

On a lighter note, I wish to pay tribute to a grandson who was replying on Facebook to a disgusting picture of some desecrated graves.  He said, “One person with a spray can, that does something horrible, is just one person. Showing kindness, love, and respect makes your life matter.  Showing it to others lets them know you believe that they matter.  If we all do this it won’t take long to understand that this Planet is far too small for hate.  The need for and the ability to love is in us at birth, but hate is taught and learned.”

As a society we need to listen to the voices of our young people, who remind us of our better natures.

 

HEROINES

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Verlie in the Orchard

From the vantage point of being a mother, a grandmother, and even a great grandmother now, I would like to talk about some of the heroines of our current day.

At one time, a long, long time ago, the place of the average mother was in the home.  There is no doubt that she was a hard worker and seldom had much spare time for herself. She was the one who kept everything running on a day to day basis, with some suggestions from her hard working husband. When children were ill, or needed clean clothes, or someone to go to PTA meetings she was the one in charge.  Our mothers, aunts, and grand mothers all did their part in this process.

But somewhere along the line things began to change.  Mothers still did all of these things at home, but now they began to go out into the workplace in addition. Life became very hectic for women as this world gradually began to accept and then to expect them to be workers in business.

Since women had learned the skills that were necessary to do a good job they were welcomed as additions to the outer world.  They brought their organizing skills right along with them.

So now it is a whole new prospect.  I would like to nominate my heroines, the young women we know who are doing double duty and showing us how capable they are. They work at home and they work in the community. They find new ways of earning an income by sales or crafts, or even by politics. They are showing their children that women can do whatever needs to be done, and they go wherever someone needs them.

And yet they still are putting their children and their spouses first, as women have always done.  It is a wonderful thing to see our younger women taking over for us.

I salute them all, they are my heroines, and I am so proud of them!

 

THE JOURNEY

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Living in a pickup top camper parked in a mountain meadow at the elevation of about 9000-9500 feet can be a life changing experience.  Especially if you are living there five days a week, with no one around you except a hard working husband who just happens to be a logger in the Colorado Mountains.  The air is clear and beautiful, the aspen and pine trees are thick and surround you in every direction.  Looking out your window you can see for miles and miles to the New Mexico border.  Since there are only a few two track roads leading up through the trees to the top we have been hired to build the start of a road.  Clear cut all of the trees and brush in a 12 – 14 foot swath so that a new road may be built by the United States Forest Service.  The road will be used for loggers and Fire Prevention people, so you know you are doing an important job.

I say, WE, but the truth is I am the chief cook, bottle washer, housekeeper, and anything else that needs to be done. Gary is the man who cuts down the trees and brush, walks the miles needed, carries the saws, tools, gas, oil, water, lunch and anything else he might need.  The main thing you need to remember is that every day he walks a little further away, so it takes a little longer to get back.  There are no roads yet, of course, but there sure is a lot of brush and trees to stumble thru.  And the rocks, millions of rocks and boulders, are everywhere, and they are tremendous.

Since we are getting paid by the length of the road to be cut, whenever Gary comes to a section where there is a clearing, he is one happy camper to see even a few feet of it. By early afternoon the clouds are beginning to boil up and we can hear the rumble of the daily afternoon thunderstorm.  He doesn’t want to stand near the tallest trees that attract the lightning, but there really is no where else to go. There is a short deluge of rain pouring down, and sometimes it is even snow for a few exciting moments. I remember one storm on September 4th where we were snowed in, and there were very narrow tires on the pickup when we had to try to get out.

From late spring when the winter snow had finally evaporated we lived in the mountains. From Sunday night until late on Friday afternoon we stayed in our camper, worked every day, and watched the wildlife that was abundant all around us. Deer being curious often walked up to us checking out what we were doing.  We had campfires daily, but it didn’t seem to bother them at all. Gary would walk out to his cutting spot in the morning and when he returned often a bear would have left his calling card right in Gary’s footprints.

When I went walking each day I kept a close eye out for the bears, but altho Gary often saw them I was happy that I didn’t.

On Friday nights we would take the camper and also our car and go home to Pagosa Springs where we had a mobile home.  The weekends were spent grocery shopping, saws being repaired, supplies being gathered up, water jugs being filled up, and then late Sunday afternoon off we would go on our journey to the mountains again.  We worked at various places usually 50 to 70 miles from home. It was a very different life from what I had known, but a life filled with adventure.

We did this for a few years, and then the government cut back on building roads and the work became difficult to find. So we took the camper home, unpacked it all and then we headed for North Dakota and the oil fields. Three sons were working there, there was a lot of work if you were willing to work hard, and the years flew by.  That is another whole story for a different day.

But this camper would have a lot of stories to tell also.  Living in the mountains was a new way of looking at life, and a way of being one with nature and knowing what is important.  Our children occasionally came to visit us while there and it is fun to see the pictures yet today of them helping with the wood and having fun doing it.

Many years have gone by since we traveled in the camper, working our way thru the years, but the memories are still there and the love that developed in me for the mountains still remains, and I am the better person for it. Thank you, Colorado.

WHAT IF

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What if I had known when I worked in this beautiful building, so many years ago, where my love for books and my experiences would lead me? in 1950, 1951, and 1952 this was my home for two hours a day, Monday thru Friday, and eight hours on Saturday.

This is the Hackley Public Library in Muskegon, Michigan, and it really was home to me. The Children’s Room was on the 2nd floor, and one of my most vivid memories is walking up the long, wide, and steep stairs, to where a world full of books awaited me. I was only about five when I started climbing those stairs.  My mother made sure that I got there almost every week.  There were many thousands of books because it was one of the best libraries in the United States, and it had been given to the City of Muskegon by a lumber baron, Charles Hackley, and endowed by him. He also gave a hospital, an art gallery, a school, a bank, and many other gifts. Every year we would have a program in our schools honoring him and then we would be free to go home, so as children we especially loved Hackley Day.

The library had a rule at that time that a child could check out books only from the Children’s Room until they got to the 9th grade.  But long before that happened I had found friends and family members who would go with me to the downstairs stacks and check out books for me. My most prized possessions were my books, and reading was everything to me.

When I reached my 16th birthday the first thing that I did was go downtown to the library and submit an application for employment. My first job was upstairs with the children.  I couldn’t wait until I could go there every day and read whatever I wanted to. The first year I shelved books, pushing a big cart, and I used to compete with myself to see how fast I could do it. By the second year I was typing catalog cards and helping to mend books.  And whenever I could I was sneaking books that I wanted to read to the back room where I had a secret stash.

Every day I walked from our high school about 3/4 of a mile to the library. One of my good friends, Marion, worked in the library also, but downstairs, and we would scurry together.  When my work was done I ran to the bus stop, a few blocks away, to catch a ride. Several miles later I stepped down and hurried home to the supper that my mother had ready for all of us. Occasionally I would miss the bus and then I would really hear about it when I got home late. In the winter it would be dark and cold, and I would be somewhat nervous walking the 2 1/2 blocks.

In the spring of 1952 I applied for work as a savings teller at the Hackley Bank, and was really excited to be hired. My father was so proud, because at that time 17 year old girls just didn’t work in banks. I felt right at home there, in a bank named Hackley.

Many years have gone by since those early days but I have never lost my love for reading every book that I find, and now I have carried it forward by writing about the love that I find  wherever I go.  Books are the bridge between us all, and watching our young children as they discover the fun of reading is one of the great pleasures in our lives.

 

WHAT WILL MY GRANDCHILDREN REMEMBER ABOUT ME?

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Lake Michigan at its absolute best

Sometimes a question will just leap out from the page to bring forth a multitude of tumultuous thoughts.  That is what this one did for me. I have 6 grandchildren from my own sons, and five from my husband’s family.  Then I have 6 more from 2nd wives of my sons after they were divorced and remarried.  Another grandson was adopted out 30 years ago, and yet another grandson drowned at 18.

The ones that I had the closest contact to turn out to be the ones that have had problems with their parents because of divorce.  A strong bond is formed when a child and a grand parent have to face difficult situations together.

So all of these children will remember me in different ways.  Mostly they will remember the grandma who loved the mountains, who lived on the IPad and loved to write. That is why I published my first book, so that they would get to know me better.  Some of them will remember me as Grandpa’s second wife, and that’s really grown more loving with time and experiences. Almost all of my grandchildren live a long distance from me, and I have very little physical contact with them.  But e-mails, phones, and Facebook can be a wonderful thing. I can keep track of their families, even tho sometimes I shake my head, watching their lives go by.

And there are some grandchildren who still end their calls or notes with “No Matter What”! They will remember that I was there for them when they really needed me, when their whole world was shattered, and these relationships have lasted twenty years and more, and grown ever stronger. Because of them I feel that I was in the right place at the right time, and did what needed to be done.

I am really fortunate to have all of our extended families, and I hope they will remember me fondly, no matter what. I have been lucky to have all of our grandchildren to love and to cherish.

LIFE JUST KEEPS ON GOING ON

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This has been a week full of ups and downs.  We have a new great grandson, and we are eyeing him thru the miracle of the Internet, on our phones or our tablets.  As grandparents do we all smile and remember when our own children were born, and everything seems so different! My own parents didn’t even see their first grandson until he was five months old.  My husband had been drafted during the Korean War and so the baby was born in Colorado.

But we lost a family member this week also, one of my first cousins that I hadn’t seen in many years.  As I went looking on the “Memories” page of the funeral home I saw how much she had contributed to this earth because her grandchildren had written how much they would miss her loving spirit.  And I realized anew how important it is to society to have the bonds of grandchildren and grandparents to each other. There can be a specialness to this relationship that endures forever. The grandparent is filled with love and hope just as they are with their own children, but without the day to day disciplines and responsibilities that come with parenting.

When we see our grandchildren with all of the hopes and dreams that we remember from our own childhood we are filled with joy to see that life does go on. Even if we never managed to do all of the things that we planned on ourselves, we see that there is a whole new generation that can do it for us. The sky seems to be limitless for our dreams for them. And when we actually see them accomplishing the things we never managed to do, that is joy without measure.

Now our own children are experiencing the joys of being grandparents.  It is a pleasure to see their excitement and to know how much it will mean for them. Scattered all over the country, yet we are able to keep a close eye on them and we revel in their day to day accomplishments.

Life is so full of both joy and sadness, but underlining it all is Love.  And having grandchildren is the bridge that will lead us forward. We see the sweetness in them and the hope that we all have for their own expectations, and we are filled with thankfulness that they have been loaned to us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BIG TIME MIRACLES

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IMG_0283.JPGSunday afternoon, and here I am again, sitting in front of my laptop, not a thought in my head except for the old familiar one.  What in the world am I going to write about for my blog that is new and different, and will bring forth “likes” and comments from my Internet friends? What will inspire them to say, Good job, Verlie?

Wow, that stops me right there.  Usually I have the distinct impression that it doesn’t matter what I write, it is all the same, and probably that is true.  I am what I am, and my writing does show it.  Our suggestion for this week was, Do you have a year that stands out among all of the rest? Well, I have plenty of years to choose from, that is for sure. But to choose one over all of the others, well, that is easier said than done. I don’t want to hurt the feelings of any of my children, or husbands, if I don’t choose their year.  You can see the problems that might arise there.  Life is too short for that.

As I was thinking about all of this, I got a ding on my IPhone, and lo and behold it was a message from one of my sons, returning one of mine.  He told me he was going to watch the Broncos and I confided in him that I was still trying to find a subject to write about.  He said come out for the Broncos,  and then New England will hate you, but everyone else will love you.

As I was laughing and answering him by text, I realized that I was having this great conversation with a son who was thousands of miles away, and yet it was like he was here in this room with me.  All of our children are scattered all over the country, sometimes years go by before we see them, yet we can keep in contact with each other instantly. There is no telephone charge for this individual call, we can talk as long as we wish to.  We can send smiles or grins.  We are connected by our thoughts and our words, and best of all they are in print, and we can save them. I can go back and read printouts that other children wrote several years ago, and remember exactly how they felt at the time.

We are living in a miraculous time, but if we only listen to the TV or loud voices of others we could easily forget that.  It is a new time and a glorious one.  Think of the people who left for California on a wagon train so long ago not knowing when they would ever see their families again.

I remember when it cost so much to call long distance that I couldn’t afford to call my mother when I needed to talk to her.  Now we are in instant communication with everyone that we love, and it really is a Big Time Miracle.

The next time you get a photo on your phone or internet from someone you love, even tho they are on the other side of the country, just smile, and say, “Thank you, God.  Thank you for all of our miracles.”

THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS

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How long has it been since you had “one of those days”? You know what I mean, nothing seems to go the way that you planned when you got up that morning. You know, not just the things that didn’t go right, but the ones where you just screwed up.  You said or did something that should have never even been mentioned.

Maybe you said something that was really meant to be funny to everyone, but then you realized that it would hurt someone because they would think you were talking about them.

Maybe you made a comment about a group of people or the way they dressed, and you really didn’t mean to have anyone take it the wrong way.  Maybe it was about religion or politics, or just anything guaranteed to cause a stir. And then the room got very quiet and you realized “Oops, I shouldn’t have done that.”

And very quietly some brave soul, the one with the “milk of human kindness”, changed the subject, or they smiled and said something light to take the heat off of you.

We all do or say dumb things at times and then we want to curl up in a corner somewhere. We are embarrassed that we even opened our mouth without thinking of others.

But the people that we like to have around us, the ones who overlook our stupidity, who know we are all in this world together, these are the people who spread “the milk of human kindness”, as William Shakespeare once so aptly wrote.

Whenever you meet someone with this quality be thankful that you have them in your life. They will not judge you harshly. And without saying a word of reproach they will remind you that you can strive for this quality  and be a worthy friend also.

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TAKING A CHANCE

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Taking a chance on love. The first thought that comes to my mind is the song, “Taking a chance on love” by Ella Fitzgerald. No matter who we meet, no matter how we seem to fit when we meet someone new, it is always a chance that we take.  Smiles can help, thoughts can intertwine with each other, we can feel the instant surge of knowing this is someone we are in tune with, but still, it is all emotion.  We are reacting to the presence of someone new, and the question is really, can we trust our emotions?

We know from experience over a lifetime that emotions aren’t always trustworthy.  There is an old saying, “Marry in haste, repent at leisure.” We all have friends who have found that out to be true.  Some of us can attest to that ourselves.  We also have friends who have been married forever, and their lives seem to be very happy and on an even keel.

Throughout our lives we take a lot of chances.  How about deciding on our education, not knowing whether we are really suited for the course we are embarked on? When we start to hunt for the perfect job to learn our trade, there are a lot of detours possible.  As a woman, what will you do about having a family and raising children? If you decide to take a chance and wait until you are in your 30’s will you still have the opportunity to do so later on?

Life is full of taking chances.  I took a lot of them myself over the years. Some of them turned out well, but others definitely could have gone a lot differently.  But the chances that you take are going to affect a lot of other people over the years, your family, friends, and unknown others.  Remember it is not just your self.

So take your chances.  If you feel that you are taking them for the right reasons, for love for yourself or for others, it probably eventually will turn out all right.

At the very least you can always say as did Wm. Shakespeare, “To thine own self, be true.!” You can say, “I took a chance on life.”

 

 

 
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