I can’t make up my mind. Every time I look in the mirror I am reminded. I have a dilemma. It probably doesn’t seem like much to anyone else, but it sure does to me!
I have a problem. My hair is finally turning very gray. For years I have faced this problem with great courage and called up my hairdresser and enlisted her help with my decision to continue being a woman with light brown hair. Each time my hair started to get pretty long I would start the debate with myself as to whether the time had finally come to give in to Mother Nature and let the gray take over. After all, look at all of the money I would save by doing it. I have reached the age where most of my peers are either gray headed or have beautiful shining white hair. They don’t seem to be bothered by it any more. But there is something in my mind that has just refused to let the change occur naturally. I have accepted the fact that my body really is getting older, but when it comes to my hair that is another whole ballgame. I can still do something about it.
So it is off to my hairdresser. I voice my anxiety to her, and she knows just what to do. An hour later and now I am a lighter shade of blondish brown hair. I smile in the mirror. I have put off the gray, at least for a few more months, and I can relax, at least until the next time it starts to peek its head out. It is true that I can’t fight Mother Nature forever, but I have overcome the battle for now.
Sometimes when we are rushing thru our daily lives, immersed in a major problem at work, or trying to catch up or keep up with the people that surround us, it is hard to know that we have chosen the right path to follow. Maybe it is that we have filled up every spare moment with tasks that have to be done whether we like it or not. The people that we take care of, our children, our parents or spouses, all depend upon us to keep things running smoothly. Even our bosses at work expect us to be an example of efficiency no matter what needs to be done.
And at the top of the list is our own inner voice, telling us what we are responsible for – clean houses, clean children, good balanced meals, and the ability to keep it all working properly.
Our inner voice can be our own worst enemy, commenting constantly as we work our way thru the day. And why should that be? After all, we chose this path, didn’t we? We looked at all of the choices available to us, the education or lack of it, the spouse or lack of one, the children that came into our lives, and all of the responsibilities that came with them.
As one of the seniors that is on the later side of life, I can look back in wonder at just how busy our lives were from the age of maturity when we first began to make all of the choices. I have to dig into my memory bank in order to remember just how crazy it all was. When I look at the lives of our grand children I am reminded of just how busy we really were. We didn’t have time to debate whether we were on the right path or not, we were just headed towards the future and did whatever had to be done. But eventually for most people, things begin to change, children grow up and away, and we start to question our busy lives. We look for what is most important, and while we are doing that we may notice that the younger generation is starting to take over, giving us some freedom from the constant push in our lives.
We take pride in their accomplishments as they mature. We see how busy they are and hope that they will find a way to stop and smell the roses along the way. They are on their own path too, following along behind ours. We have just gone on ahead of them to a new phase of our existence.
So as you think about your path and how far you have gone on it, remember that the example of your path may inspire those following you. Encouragement will go a long way towards helping others as they grow steadily in the direction they desire. And you can rest assured that you have advanced on your own path as you make your way thru life.
Why did I ever DO that?, an intriguing question that popped into my mind while searching for the answer as to why my life is where it is right now?
Looking back over an extensive period of time it is pretty easy to see how I could have done things a lot differently. Also a lot smarter. The problems that seemed so overwhelming at one time brought forth the urgent need to do something to change the situation I was in. It became “Dam the torpedoes, full speed ahead!” as a famous Naval officer David Farragut once said.
It seems as if somewhere in our thought processes we begin to see only one side of a problem, and then the results become less than what is desirable. Saying to ourselves over and over again, “Why in the world did I ever do that?” becomes a self-defeating process. At some point after being miserable about our own failures we have to change our thinking. We can begin to ask, “What can I do to change my own attitudes? Have I learned anything from my life lessons? Am I trying to listen to other peoples viewpoint instead of exclusively my own?”
I have a new question for myself. When I decide I want to change something in my life, what else am I considering besides what happens to me? In the overall scheme of things, what we decide to do is more important to others than we can easily comprehend. We might say to our own inner voice, do I really want or need to do this? Kindliness is next to Godliness, I was told as a child, and a good mantra for me to remember. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, is another.
it seems that so many of the older platitudes that we were taught when we were young have stood us in good stead. If we had always practiced them all we would never have to look back, and wonder, “Why in the world did I ever do that?”
So today, friends, I am looking forward, and I like what I see. I no longer feel that I must look back, because I know there are bright days ahead for us all. Forward is good!
1/ All that I give, I give to Myself.
2/ Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
3/ I am never upset for the reason I think.
4/ I am determined to see things differently.
5/ I can escape from the world I see.
6/ I am not the victim of the world I see.
7/ Today I will judge nothing that occurs.
8/ This instant is the only instant there is.
9/ The past is over—it can not hurt me.
10/ I could see peace instead of this.
11/ I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt me.
12/ I am responsible for what I see.
Remembering that we are starting a New Year tomorrow, I am reminded of all of the resolutions of the past, both the ones I practiced and the ones I forgot, and this little list given to me many years ago is all that I really need to live by.
Taking a chance on love. The first thought that comes to my mind is the song, “Taking a chance on love” by Ella Fitzgerald. No matter who we meet, no matter how we seem to fit when we meet someone new, it is always a chance that we take. Smiles can help, thoughts can intertwine with each other, we can feel the instant surge of knowing this is someone we are in tune with, but still, it is all emotion. We are reacting to the presence of someone new, and the question is really, can we trust our emotions?
We know from experience over a lifetime that emotions aren’t always trustworthy. There is an old saying, “Marry in haste, repent at leisure.” We all have friends who have found that out to be true. Some of us can attest to that ourselves. We also have friends who have been married forever, and their lives seem to be very happy and on an even keel.
Throughout our lives we take a lot of chances. How about deciding on our education, not knowing whether we are really suited for the course we are embarked on? When we start to hunt for the perfect job to learn our trade, there are a lot of detours possible. As a woman, what will you do about having a family and raising children? If you decide to take a chance and wait until you are in your 30’s will you still have the opportunity to do so later on?
Life is full of taking chances. I took a lot of them myself over the years. Some of them turned out well, but others definitely could have gone a lot differently. But the chances that you take are going to affect a lot of other people over the years, your family, friends, and unknown others. Remember it is not just your self.
So take your chances. If you feel that you are taking them for the right reasons, for love for yourself or for others, it probably eventually will turn out all right.
At the very least you can always say as did Wm. Shakespeare, “To thine own self, be true.!” You can say, “I took a chance on life.”
Have you ever given any thought about how many hours that you have spent grocery shopping in your lifetime? How about all of the thoughts and energy that are focused on one of the main events of your life?
It’s not just the actual walking into a supermarket with a complicated list of all of the products you need, in your hand. It’s the process of making the weekly list. You may also have a monthly list, and even more often, a list of the products you would buy if they were on sale or you had a coupon.
It’s the time spent being a coupon clipper, the hours checking on the specials to see which store has the best price. Maybe you go to one store for meat, another for produce, and a third for most everything else.
It’s the time you spend making sure you have all of the necessary ingredients for 21 meals a week in your house. And it is a known fact that everyone doesn’t always want the same food to eat. It is all of the decisions you make as you look at the weights of the packages, thinking that larger isn’t always cheaper.
It is also the thought that you want your family to eat reasonably balanced meals, and you feel that it is your job to help that along.
So let us agree on one thing. Grocery shopping and all of the hours that proceed it have an important place in our lives. As we get older it seems to get a lot easier with practice. But for young people first setting up a household it is definitely a learning experience. And once children are added to the mix it becomes a whole new ball game. I still remember standing in a checkout line, one child screaming in the cart, and another rummaging in the articles tempting them on the shelves. Disaster City!
We solved it by my husband watching the three others at home. Each week one different boy would go with me, and he always got to choose one thing for himself. Even more important he got a lot of close knit attention from his mother with no one else around.
So grocery shopping can have its blessings if you look for them. Now that we are retired my husband goes right in the store with me. He is a great help loading and unloading, a new experience for him also. We can have quality time whenever we choose to.
So grocery shoppers, Unite. Now we know why we are such an important part of keeping our world on keel. We plan, we shop, and we execute, setting a good example for our families around us. We provide a terrific service, with love.
I can relax,
Knowing I am a survivor,
Knowing it is all either love or fear.
And I am surrounded by love.
The love I give out will surely return to me,
The present is all I have or want.