Counting Our Blessings đŸ’•

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Sunday evening and I am back at home from the facility, resting after another long day of family, friends, phone calls, emails, and all that is a part of my daily existence right now. It is an overwhelming experience for me. I knew vaguely that our children, our friends, and many others cared about us in some everyday way. I never doubted it but also I really didn’t think about it every day either. This is our life, a long and productive one, but I didn’t dwell on it a lot. As an extended family we have blended together in a most enjoyable way.
But now we are watching our beloved husband and dad, Bob Rider, slip thru the remaining time of his life and it has become evident that he really is important to a lot of people. I hope that he knows somehow just how much he has meant to a lot of friends and family in his life. He has always been a family man. Proud of his children and grandchildren, working for him in their childhood on the farm and at the farmers market.
Proud of the four sons that he acquired when he married me almost 33 years ago. And he has always made friends easily. He was always known as the “apple man “ at the Muskegon market. That is how I first met him 34 years ago. We have been very fortunate. We have been thru all of the ups and downs of life as we know it. We have traveled a lot, casino’d a lot, read a lot, watched Gunsmoke and The Virginian a lot and it has all been good. Now we watch another episode of our life unfolding and I can honestly say. “How lucky we have been to find each other “ and how lucky I am to have found my special place in life complete with new daughters and a son. 💕

HERE WE ARE!

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Sitting in my rocking chair, glancing up every few minutes at Bob resting on his left side, so he can wear his right ear hearing aide, I feel like I have been on this road before. Remembering the hospital beds after surgeries that we have survived thanks to good doctors and nurses, I am thankful that we have come thru it together. We have picked ourselves up and gone on to a better day. We moved on to new adventures and better times.
But this time is different. We are surviving alright but with new knowledge and new glances at our future. And it is definitely a one day at a time thing. We brought my rocking chair to the facility so I can sit here and write or read at my leisure. Each day I have been driving the 22 miles from our home to walk down the long corridors to Bobs memory care unit to sit and make small talk with Bob. He is always very glad to see me and I give him big hugs but sometimes he wants to get up and sometimes he doesn’t. He is just really tired and my heart aches for him.

Today he says he has a backache. I head out for an aide to see if I can get some help for him. The aides here are wonderful. So cheerful yet matter of fact. I don’t know how they do it. Anytime I talk to them they are ready to solve whatever problem has arisen. And they do it day after day, and with concern. I am so thankful we found the right place to go thru this trying part of our lives.
Another day in our lives. Bob gives me a big hug and says “I love you honey” and my heart swells as I say “I love you too, honey “. I know that this is where I belong right now, and I am thankful that I can still drive our car and come to see him.

Our new direction💕

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Of all of the various directions that I have encountered in my 91 one plus years of life on this planet I think that this is probably the one that has had the most profound effect in my everyday living.
There is no one to say, Verlie, this is what needs to be done. No one to say, Verlie, this is for your own good, or your own happiness, or for someone’s well being. This is it. It is my life, it is my husbands life, and I must do what is right for us. Our six living children, our 13 grandchildren, our many great grandchildren, they are all a part of us and everyone has their ideas about our path forward. Prayers and encouragement have been extended and we all know that we want the best for Bob and I.
And so do we. Of course we do. There is one major problem tho. It is no longer in our best interests for Bob and I to make the decisions together. His memory is fading with his 93 years and now he must trust me to do is best for him. The best thing about that is that he does. He loves and trusts me as I do him. It is an honor that this is so. We have lived together for almost 33 years now and we have had many happy and productive years together. Our children love and honor him with everything that they say and do. My four sons are grateful that he has been so good to me. His two girls are the daughters I never had. And our son in laws and daughter in laws are our children in word and deed.
But it has become time to make the changes. For two weeks now Bob has been living at the White Lake Assisted Living facility and he is now in the Memory unit. He has his own belongings and his own many photographs and a favorite chair to watch his television in. He has many aides to help him when he needs it. They have great meals and their own chef to prepare them.
One thing everyone can say about Bob is that he is a very friendly soul and always thanks them for everything. I can tell the aides like that already. We live 22 miles north of White Lake Facility so it is easy for me to drive there each day. Winter is going to be a challenge, no doubt, but I am working on that.
Bob is always going to be remembered as the Apple Man. He sold every variety of fruit to Muskegon County at the Muskegon Farmers Market for over 50 years. He gave my friend Loyce Tapken, the Apple that she gave to me that led to our happy marriage.
I am so thankful that I can still write to all of you, my friends, on my trusty IPad, and give you our news. Writing on here is one of the major blessings of my life. Sending you all love and blessings. 💕 theappleladyblog.com 💕. Verlie Rider💕

Another Bend in the Road

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July 10, 2023

Having just spent the last hour looking at some of my many entries in my Apple Lady blog, I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the huge step that Bob and I have just embarked on.
We have been married more than thirty years now. That is a great accomplishment and worthy of bragging about until we stop to reflect that we were already 60 and 58 years of age when we walked down the aisle of our Unity Church. We were surrounded by seven children and spouses, and all of the grandchildren, great grandchildren, and numerous cousins, aunts and uncles. Plus assorted friends and our church family. It was a great evening and we rejoiced in starting another section of our life together.
Some eighteen years later after our farming and marketing section had come to a close, the next big step was investing in a mobile home in Florida to spend five months each winter. Meeting new friends, enjoying the warm weather and our many walks, it was all a new adventure for us and we really enjoyed it for twelve years. Joining my Writers group, Bob and his card games, the years flew by. At first we drove each year but finally started flying round trip

Then came Covid and it wasn’t as much fun anymore. In our park people got their shots and wore masks but Florida wasn’t as friendly anywhere. Our Canadian friends were shut out by their government. People were afraid to go as many places in public. So we did a lot of extra walking in our park. My writing group like many others was closed down. No more poker nights.
So this past year we started thinking about making the big change. The humidity wasn’t helping Bobs asthma at all. On the way to the airport in St Petersburg as we gazed upon the six lanes of non stop traffic it all came to a head and we realized the time had come to make the changes. After we got home I called a local realtor in ZH and was encouraged by their knowledge of the market. Everyone took over for us. They all did their jobs and soon the house was listed. The very first person loved it and made an offer right away. Our son and his wife picked up a few things we wanted and eventually brought them to us in Michigan. They sold our car. It was like a dream come true. All of the paperwork was done by DocuSign on line.Our realtors were Susan and Troy Duprey and they were excellent.
So here we are in Michigan getting used to being Northerners again. Twelve years is a long time to have spent our winters away and I am sure it will be an adjustment when the snow flakes start to fly. I keep saying to myself, after all I grew up here. I can do this! We can hire peopled to help us! I will have room for a big Christmas tree again. We will be with family on holidays again. There are compensations. 😍 and it is beautiful here.
All is well here. If you have managed to stay with me this long good for you. I’ll try to do better next time. My next project is, you guessed it. Deciding what to keep, give away or throw out. Painful decisions ahead. Just keeping my resolution is a big deal for me! 😍

A BEAUTIFUL SUNNY DAY

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Yes it is, here in Florida at least, and I am determined to enjoy it. I look at the Weather Channel, check on Michigan, shake my head in commiseration over the snow-filled charts, say a little prayer over any family or friends that are driving in it, and relax. It is absolutely perfect here right now. It is George Washington’s Birthday, and a day to celebrate.
And we are celebrating our family, the original Strong family. On Monday my brother, two sisters, and spouses, plus a niece and husband, all gathered here for a potluck lunch. Dressed in our summer clothes even tho it is February, we are enjoying the sun with a little breeze. It is about 85 or so on our shady patio. We have come from different places, in order to all be together for our annual luncheon. It is the first time tho since the start of Covid so we are doubly grateful.

And in a way it is a miracle. The ages of this group range from 78-90 years of age. Despite our ages we are still mobile, still happy to be together in one place. We miss our brother in law after many years together but he is in our hearts today. But we rejoice in being together on this sunny occasion and look forward to continuing our visits each year. We exchange all of the news about our children, grandchildren, and even great grandchildren. The food is tremendous, as you would expect from experienced cooks.
And then everyone packs up their bags and heads for their destinations scattered around Florida. I know that in a few hours I will get text messages from everyone that they arrived safely. Our mother taught that lesson to all of us many years ago. Of course we had to call long distance then. How times have changed. But she also taught us that we are a family, we love each other and we stick together. The love of our parents has tied us all together. 💕

WELCOME BACK

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Can you believe it! We are back! Back in our winter home, in sunny Florida, although it is not sunny right now. It’s windy and only 70 degrees on a November afternoon and we are waiting on a tropical storm that has decided to come and visit us.
We have batched down the hatches, put away anything that is loose, and decided to wait it out right here in our home, hoping it won’t get too stormy. Having missed an earlier hurricane this year while we were still in Michigan, we were somewhat surprised to hear that the new storm is headed straight for us. By now we would be concerned about snow that will be forming up north.
But no. Here we are and it is so good to be here. This is the 11th year since we started heading south whenever the cold winds started blowing. And it has been a hectic year, illness and Covid attacked us, and yet we survived and flew on a big silver airplane to our destination.
But it always takes a while to adjust to all of the little things. Nothing seems to be put in its logical place anymore. I find myself looking for my favorite pan or dish and oops, suddenly I realize, no that is up north. When you pack up your essentials in two suitcases and two duffle bags and a carryon, and this is what you have for five months, you have to learn how to cope with it. And it is always good to have the quick service of Amazon delivering right to our door. We can do pickup at Walmart so easily. It is just amazing how many people use the pickup service here. We parked in number 18 this week because it was so busy. Up north it is more lightly used.
As a younger person I never could have imagined living our golden years in the way that we do now. Truly I have been blessed by my husband, our family, our friends, and of course by my IPad so that I can write. Life feels really great right now. See you all soon!

THE FALL of 2021

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Fall has always been a special time of the year for me. When September rolls around the air actually begins to change, my spirit begins to rise, and I feel as if a new season and attitude has begun. In the early morning as I rise and head for my easy chair, carrying my newly made coffee carefully, I notice that it is getting light later and later each day. Lights need to be turned on in order to see my way clearly.

Fall always meant school to me. Books were my best friend. it was an ongoing disagreement between my mother and me as to how much time I spent reading. She didn’t mind me reading, that wasn’t it, but she did mind it happening when there were other things that needed doing. And reading all of the cereal boxes propped up along side of my cereal bowl instead of speaking really annoyed her. Reading my book while I was ironing pillowcases was another no no.

But getting caught reading with the family flashlight under the covers at night when she thought I was fast asleep was probably the one that got me grounded the most of all. We had a streetlight on a corner near my bedroom window and I would prop up my book there. Like I say, books were my best friend.

Fortunately I had cousins who loved to read also. We all begged for books for our birthdays, and traded them back and forth with each other. Memories of good times with each other still abide after so many years. There was no tv at that time, we couldn’t do anything on Sunday except church or a ride in our car. We did go for a lot of rides, to the lake, or to look at farmland in the country. And in September we went for color tours as the leaves turned in a brilliant fashion.

So here I am, it is September 10, 2021, it is bright and beautiful and I am still reading, probably more than anything else in my life. Hope you have enjoyed some reminiscing with me of another time and place. A long time ago someone asked me to describe myself, maybe 40 years ago or more, and i answered, ”I am a reader.” And now I can say, ”I am a writer.” what more can I say?

ALMOST MARCH

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After reading “Still September” again this morning, it is about time for me to renew my spirits, thank about something pretty or fun to do, and write about the new pleasures showing up in my life! Looking back, I am happy that I survived September, but I don’t need to go thru that again for a while!
BECAUSE great things are happening or about to. I know that, it’s all in the mind, right, but my mind has been lifted up. The first thing is that three great older gentlemen, sent from a local store, have just installed our new living room carpet, hauled off the worn out one, and it feels so good on bare feet when I get up in the morning. It is soft and very plush and just beautiful. The old one was here when we bought the house ten years ago.
The second thing is that we did pickup at Walmart this morning and I’m back home with everything all put away. The young people loading our car are always friendly and helpful.
The third thing is that my old watch quit on Thursday, but on Friday Amazon showed up with my new one, a Timex, in my driveway, and I had enough points from a credit card to get it for free!
And I saved the best for last. On Wednesday, at 10:45 am, we are going to get our first COVID vaccine shot, right here in our park, in our car. There are a lot of older people waiting here in Florida, so I was happy to get the phone call. It has been quite a winter, colder than usual down here, but today it is perfect.
I hope that everyone reading this is feeling their spirits lifted up too. I will be happy when we can hug our family and friends again. We are tougher than we thought for, despite all of the ups and downs.

STILL SEPTEMBER

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How can it still be September? Especially in 2020? It seems as if this year has been going on forever! Just finished looking thru the last few months of entries in my blog and it sounds like another world. The most important things in my life were making an occasional pie, going for daily walks, reading and enjoying my IPad. That was then, this is now.
Now we are in Michigan, it is fall, I am still doing the same things mostly, but none of it feels the same. We have become home bound, concerned about our health, cautious when we go out in public, wearing our masks, still reading, watching the world go by on our TV or IPads, and wondering how in the world we all got here. The world I grew up in seems to have disappeared somewhere. When I talk with other older friends they seem as bewildered as I do. It’s like all of the ideas and principles that we were taught are just words that have lost all of their meaning. Trust in anyone else seems to have evaporated.
I remember when the VietNam War was going on and someone read the Pentagon Papers in Congress. It was a huge shock to me. I couldn’t believe that our government would ever actually lie to us. We were so naive, we thought that we could all believe whatever was in the written word. From then on many people began to lose their faith in what they were told.
Now it seems that the country has come to the conclusion that they can’t trust anyone no matter who they are. And this is not a good thing for anyone, to become so cynical and untrusting.
There still are millions of good people out there, no matter where their sympathies lie. No one is perfect, but most people would still like to follow the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would like them to do to you.”
I do believe this, I have to, or I could not face each day. I don’t want to waste any of the days that I still have coming to me. And it would be a waste to hate, no matter what.

MIRACLE AT WALMART

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IMG_0185.jpgOn a warm and sunny morning this week, in the midst of a chaotic day, I received one of the best presents I have had in a long time.
We had finally gone to Muskegon where we both enjoyed the services of our great beautician. Her name is Joyce and I have been under her care for twenty eight years now. I was so happy she hadn’t decided to retire yet. I have had her far longer than I have had a husband. So we left there and headed for Walmart in Whitehall to catch up on our shopping.
All went well, Bob loaded up the cart and I pushed it out to our car. On the way home we talked over the days events as we headed for Hart about twenty miles north. When we got home Bob headed for the trunk to get the bags, and me, well, I reached for my pretty purple cane. Oh oh, it wasn’t there. I had left it hanging on the side of the grocery cart in the Walmart parking lot. This is not the first time I have forgotten the darned thing by any means. I was Disgusted with myself, to put it mildly.
So I called the store, and they told me they had six canes there! I guess I am not the only one. We decided to take our afternoon nap and then we would go back the twenty miles to get it. So that is what we did. Bob never said a word about it, he is such a gem, but I felt badly that I had been careless.
But when we got to the store I went in and looked at the six canes but mine wasn’t there! I left them my name and phone number, hoping against hope but I knew it was probably a lost cause. But it was such a pretty cane.
On the way out the door there was an associate and she smiled and said “Can I help you?” I said to her, “ I was in the store earlier in the day and I left my cane behind” and right away she pointed to the sidewalk beside her and said “Here it is, it has been sitting here all day. Someone turned it in “ and there stood my beautiful purple cane, with a claw bottom, just waiting for me.
I couldn’t believe it. If she hadn’t spoken to me I would never have known because I had checked so thoroughly in the store.
So whoever is my guardian angel in the Whitehall area, I hope that you see this. Thank you so much! There really are good people around us and I feel like my spirit has been renewed.