WHAT IF I REALIZED THAT

WHAT IF I REALIZED THAT sept 011 neng fall 007

I am filled with energy. It is easier and easier for me to wake up each morning knowing that I can still breathe and walk and carry on my daily routine.

I am surrounded by family and friends who will come willingly if I call them.

The whole world of books is at my fingertips wherever I go and I have the time to read them.

Someone somewhere is waiting for my smile and a hug to cheer them up.

New friends await me on my internet connections from faraway places.

I don’t have to wonder any more “What will I be when I grow up?”

I can relax knowing that children and grandchildren are doing all the things I dreamed of but didn’t quite manage.

New things keep popping up in my life and I can enjoy learning them.

It really doesn’t matter if it takes a little longer, I can still accomplish them.

Having a blog, theappleladyblog.com, to express myself is a lot of fun.

I am filled with love and light and energy and this is a beautiful thing.

Realizing that I can enjoy my life no matter what happens is just wonderful.

Yes, I sure do realize now!

I MADE IT!!!!!

hearts_s Words just don’t express all of the feelings that I have today, seeing all of the posts, comments, likes, presents, and joy that I am experiencing here on my 80th birthday. Somehow I never was that sure that I would actually make this birthday a reality. For 62 of those years I have been an adult, and just about everything that I ever really wanted to do, I have at least tried. I have been married for 57 of those years, but it has taken three husbands to do it. Children, grandchildren, and even great grandchildren have surrounded me most of my life. I have lived in many different states, traveled whenever I had the opportunity, lived in mobile homes, apartments, houses, and even a camper during summer work in the Colorado mountains. My work usually took me to offices or banks or libraries, where I always enjoyed my work and the contacts with so many people. For eight years I sold fruit at the Farmers Market with my husband, Bob, a lifelong farmer. Now I am a writer, a poet, a meditator, an avid reader, in love with my Ipad, and all of the wonderful things I can do with it, and the friends that I can meet.

Having a major birthday is a great time to look around me, both to look back, and to look forward, and to see all of the blessings that surround me. Thank you all my friends and family. When I look at all of the names on the posts, I see all of the various stages of my life, and I wouldn’t get rid of any of them. While there are always things that I could have done differently and much better, I am really happy to have arrived at this point, and know that all is well, no matter what.

REMEMBERING

Remembering all the times you listened to us when we were troubled.

Remembering that you thought we were survivors, no matter what.

Remembering that we could always call you just for reassurance.

Remembering the times you were so exasperated with us you wanted

to shake us.

Remembering your courage as you struggled to get out of the car

with your cane.

Remembering you waiting on your loved ones when they were too

blind to see.

Remembering the tons of flowers and hundreds of cards when you

left this world one summer morning.

Remembering your smiles, your hugs, and your generous spirit that

encouraged us all.

Remembering you every time we see a white-haired older lady walking,

intent upon getting somewhere by herself, cane in hand.

Remembering every time we realize there is no house to go to, no

telephone call to make, no one waiting for our arrival.

Remembering, always remembering that you showed us all how to

love one another, no matter what!

THE WHOLE WORLD IS NEW WHEN

The Whole World is New When

I decide to love, rather than to be loved.

I decide to appreciate, rather than criticize.

I decide to go with the flow, rather than push.

I decide to listen to my inner voice, rather than deliberately

avoid hearing it.

I decide to ask what do my children want, rather than tell them.

I decide that I am in control of my emotions, rather than erupting

without thought.

I decide that I can look for what is right in my world, rather than

what is wrong.

I decide to praise all of my blessings,, rather than condemn my

shortfalls.

I decide to be thankful for all God has given me, rather than a

complainer.

I decide to be kind, rather than right.

I decide to enjoy what I have right now, rather than look for

what I want next.

I decide that all is well in my world, No Matter What.

Yes, the secret is, I DECIDE!

THE SILENT TELEPHONE

All day long, in the back of my mind, I kept waiting.

I did the dishes, swept the floors, made a pie, and thought about you.

I checked my e-mail, paid some bills, went to the store,

and I thought about you.

Were you doing dishes, sweeping floors, paying bills,

driving your car, and did you think about me?

Were you doing all the things you wanted to do, seeing

what you wanted to see, and living the life you wanted to

live?

Did you pass by the phone and think, ” I really should call

but maybe tomorrow I’ll have time.”

Once I thought I too would have more time to call

tomorrow and now there is no one left to call.

Once I said “I’ll do it tomorrow, ” and now I am filled with

sadness for all of the tomorrows that vanished while I too,

kept so busy, did the errands, and walked on by the silent

telephone.

I look through the faded photo albums and remember,

sometimes there isn’t any tomorrow for our loved ones.

Where did the months and years go while I ran and pushed

and shoved myself to get all the important things done,

and the telephone just sat there, waiting?

Will my telephone ever ring in time?

FOR A SON ON A QUIET NIGHT

FOR A SON ON A QUIET NIGHT

It is a quiet night and I lay here dreaming of a far off time.

The children are small and they are in my care.

I am responsible and I watch for their happiness.

I see the smiles and I hear the childish laughter of their voices.

I feel the emotions that beset us all so long ago,

And I remember, oh how I remember the delight of watching

them grow.

And now I am filled with the pride of watching these sons grow,

Children no more, fathers in word and in deed,

And I am no longer responsible,

But I watch for their happiness.

And I am so grateful the sons have grown into men.

THE COMPROMISE

I said, I’ll do this if you’ll do that.

Nothing else seems to work.

Does this seem fair to you?

And you thought it over, and first you said maybe,

And I held my breath and said, that’s not good enough.

Life is full of compromises

And commitment is what I need.

Either you will or you won’t,

Either you can or you can’t,

Either you choose to, or not.

We all make choices.

So do we choose to compromise?

Finally you said yes,

And so began a new way of looking at things.

ACIM LESSONS TO LIVE BY

All that I give, I give to myself.
Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
I am never upset for the reason I think.
I am determined to see things differently.
I can escape from the world I see.
I am not the victim of the world I see.
Today I will judge nothing that occurs.
This instant is the only instant there is.
The past is over-It cannot hurt me.
I could see peace instead of this.
I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt.
I am responsible for what I see.

Given to me some years ago from an internet friend, wish I remembered who. From The Course in Miracles.

Reading these to myself is a sure way to remind me of what is really important, and how I choose my life to be.

WHAT DO I WANT?

Do I really want to wake up

Or do I want to exist in this dream world?

Do I want to know the Truth or do I want to pretend?

Do I want to see past all illusions

And know what is really real?

Or do I want to live a life of pretending all is well,

Yet seeing only suffering and pain?

Do I really want to know that what I see is a product of my mind,

Or do I prefer to blame someone else, chastise the world,

Imagine that something outside of me causes all the difficulties?

What do I really want?

Can I change the way I look at the world?

I don’t know but I must try.

I close my eyes and remember,

I am still as God created me.

Verlie Rider

THINKING ABOUT MY YESTERDAYS

Hot summer days lying on the beach,

Running and diving into the waves of an ever cool Lake Michigan,

Getting pulled off of our feet by the strong undertow of the water,

Riding our bikes without an adult on the five mile trip to the beach,

Curled up in the crotch of our biggest oak tree, reading my favorite book,

Playing hop scotch on the sidewalk on our city streets,

Walking to school so that we could do tricks on the Jungle Gym,

Cleaning Venetian blinds for my mother with a mitten on my hand,

Working in our vegetable garden, pulling tomato worms off of the vines,

Picnics at a roadside park when we went for a Sunday afternoon drive,

Remembering the heat in church and all of the ladies fanning themselves,

Roasting hot dogs and marsh mellows at a bonfire at the State Park.

Watching the double features at the movie theaters downtown,

Eating a hot fudge sundae at the old Occidental Hotel ice cream shop after the show,

Listening to my serial radio shows like “Superman” every weekday afternoon,

Cleaning my room under protest, every Saturday morning,

Watching the Muskegon Lassies play softball, as part of the “Knothole Gang”‘

As I sit here on another summer morning I remember anew

my parents, brothers and sisters, cousins, my family and friends,

All of whom gave me a wonderful childhood to look back at and to be grateful for.

Those were the days, my friends, those were the days!

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