Sunday evening and I am back at home from the facility, resting after another long day of family, friends, phone calls, emails, and all that is a part of my daily existence right now. It is an overwhelming experience for me. I knew vaguely that our children, our friends, and many others cared about us in some everyday way. I never doubted it but also I really didn’t think about it every day either. This is our life, a long and productive one, but I didn’t dwell on it a lot. As an extended family we have blended together in a most enjoyable way.
But now we are watching our beloved husband and dad, Bob Rider, slip thru the remaining time of his life and it has become evident that he really is important to a lot of people. I hope that he knows somehow just how much he has meant to a lot of friends and family in his life. He has always been a family man. Proud of his children and grandchildren, working for him in their childhood on the farm and at the farmers market.
Proud of the four sons that he acquired when he married me almost 33 years ago. And he has always made friends easily. He was always known as the “apple man “ at the Muskegon market. That is how I first met him 34 years ago. We have been very fortunate. We have been thru all of the ups and downs of life as we know it. We have traveled a lot, casino’d a lot, read a lot, watched Gunsmoke and The Virginian a lot and it has all been good. Now we watch another episode of our life unfolding and I can honestly say. “How lucky we have been to find each other “ and how lucky I am to have found my special place in life complete with new daughters and a son. 💕
life
HERE WE ARE!
StandardSitting in my rocking chair, glancing up every few minutes at Bob resting on his left side, so he can wear his right ear hearing aide, I feel like I have been on this road before. Remembering the hospital beds after surgeries that we have survived thanks to good doctors and nurses, I am thankful that we have come thru it together. We have picked ourselves up and gone on to a better day. We moved on to new adventures and better times.
But this time is different. We are surviving alright but with new knowledge and new glances at our future. And it is definitely a one day at a time thing. We brought my rocking chair to the facility so I can sit here and write or read at my leisure. Each day I have been driving the 22 miles from our home to walk down the long corridors to Bobs memory care unit to sit and make small talk with Bob. He is always very glad to see me and I give him big hugs but sometimes he wants to get up and sometimes he doesn’t. He is just really tired and my heart aches for him.
Today he says he has a backache. I head out for an aide to see if I can get some help for him. The aides here are wonderful. So cheerful yet matter of fact. I don’t know how they do it. Anytime I talk to them they are ready to solve whatever problem has arisen. And they do it day after day, and with concern. I am so thankful we found the right place to go thru this trying part of our lives.
Another day in our lives. Bob gives me a big hug and says “I love you honey” and my heart swells as I say “I love you too, honey “. I know that this is where I belong right now, and I am thankful that I can still drive our car and come to see him.
Our new directionđź’•
StandardOf all of the various directions that I have encountered in my 91 one plus years of life on this planet I think that this is probably the one that has had the most profound effect in my everyday living.
There is no one to say, Verlie, this is what needs to be done. No one to say, Verlie, this is for your own good, or your own happiness, or for someone’s well being. This is it. It is my life, it is my husbands life, and I must do what is right for us. Our six living children, our 13 grandchildren, our many great grandchildren, they are all a part of us and everyone has their ideas about our path forward. Prayers and encouragement have been extended and we all know that we want the best for Bob and I.
And so do we. Of course we do. There is one major problem tho. It is no longer in our best interests for Bob and I to make the decisions together. His memory is fading with his 93 years and now he must trust me to do is best for him. The best thing about that is that he does. He loves and trusts me as I do him. It is an honor that this is so. We have lived together for almost 33 years now and we have had many happy and productive years together. Our children love and honor him with everything that they say and do. My four sons are grateful that he has been so good to me. His two girls are the daughters I never had. And our son in laws and daughter in laws are our children in word and deed.
But it has become time to make the changes. For two weeks now Bob has been living at the White Lake Assisted Living facility and he is now in the Memory unit. He has his own belongings and his own many photographs and a favorite chair to watch his television in. He has many aides to help him when he needs it. They have great meals and their own chef to prepare them.
One thing everyone can say about Bob is that he is a very friendly soul and always thanks them for everything. I can tell the aides like that already. We live 22 miles north of White Lake Facility so it is easy for me to drive there each day. Winter is going to be a challenge, no doubt, but I am working on that.
Bob is always going to be remembered as the Apple Man. He sold every variety of fruit to Muskegon County at the Muskegon Farmers Market for over 50 years. He gave my friend Loyce Tapken, the Apple that she gave to me that led to our happy marriage.
I am so thankful that I can still write to all of you, my friends, on my trusty IPad, and give you our news. Writing on here is one of the major blessings of my life. Sending you all love and blessings. đź’• theappleladyblog.com đź’•. Verlie Riderđź’•
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